Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I'm Almost There!

Don't make any sudden movements, and when I say hold it right there, don't be stupid and change anything. That's right, I'm a woman after my orgasm and don't you dare mess that up. You, man, with your fingers, your flickering tongue, and your rock hard penis may try all you can to get me off. You'll get frustrated by my silence, and if you ask me how I like it, my response could very well be "I don't know."

You've got it easy. The male orgasm is a repetitive stroke. Its usually a guarantee that if the combination of moisture and pressure are applied to your genitalia, you're going to bust. But women, like our emotional makeup, is so complicated that not even we completely understand it. Do you know that we orgasm without cumming (sometimes). Then other times we squirt! (Squirting is real). Sometimes you touch us and we don't feel a thing, other times we can just be thinking about you on a train and bust all over our panties. Some of us can't get ourselves off. We need your help. Others can only get themselves off and have to close a session alone with four fingers and a porno.

Do you know how to make a woman violently angry? Disobey her when she says "don't stop" or "keep it right there". You go ahead and stop or move your finger an inch to the left and I she'll learn to hate you. I warn you boys (and random clueless lesbians) the female orgasm is elusive and precious discovery. One is never guaranteed to get it twice. My suggestion is to be very attentive: moans, breathing patterns, sudden silences are all indications of where she is in her orgasm. The best thing to do is remind her to stay calm and show you what she wants.


  1. K DeWitty7/21/2010

    "Do you know how to make a woman violently angry?"
    True story.
    Men -- take heed!

  2. yay squirt, one of the best thing on the face of this earth!!!


*leave one*