Thursday, July 22, 2010

Girls, Girls, Girls

I just finished watching an old classic, Jay-Z's music video for "Girls, Girls, Girls." If you don't remember or perhaps live under a rock, this is the song where Jay-Z explains why he loves women so much and what he can achieve from all of them. He's got girls to cook for him, model girls that look good at parties, girls he gives money to, the project girl who holds him down, etc. He's got a veritable library of women who support and maintain his well-being.

As I watched the video, I go to thinking: what place has monogamy when a man can have a collection of women who fulfill his needs? The benefits of Jay-Z's arrangement in the "Girls..." video is that he has women who serve a multitude of purposes. He'll never go hungry, he went through at least a dozen apartments in that video alone. Knowing women, I bet real live Jigga had hundreds, perhaps thousands of apartments that he could've just run to for anything at that time in his career.

So why did Jay-Z (supposedly) give that all up to be with Beyonce?

Hot roommate, the guy who lives downstairs, is the living embodiment of the video. He has women rolling through at least twice a day. He has a girl who drives him around, another to handle his laundry, a few who cook for him and I don't know what he does with the rest of them. He thought he could get me to wash his dishes once. I gave him the ill screw face. One could say that hot roommate is living it up, especially since he has a closet stocked with designer clothes, shoes, and underwear. He has Versace boxers. He never has to buy a car or get a job as long as he's dicking these girls down. Its the privilege of being pretty when a man or woman doesn't have to pay for anything.

I'd assume that the lifestyle is taxing, because its the constant juggle of a woman's attention. I was hanging with hot roommate once, and I overheard him talking to a woman. She wanted to come visit. She was going to take a cab, but he told her, "I don't feel comfortable with you taking a cab over here. Its late, and its dangerous." Bullshit, I thought to myself. I don't know if the girl believed him, or not. Someone came over soon after I left.

Another guy around the area argued that a woman should take care of her man. He didn't mean good cooking and hot sex - you know the usual womanly duties - he meant like mothering a grown child. I couldn't even argue with him. What he said was too foolish to even entertain, but it got me all heated inside. Do we women have to settle for love? Do we have to babysit adults or ignore infidelity in order to have someone to come home to? How do we find someone who will actually love and deserve us?

There are men who are satisfied by their collection of women. That's their prowess and that's how they measure their worth, their success. Then there are the men who are far more concerned with their future, with financial security and being an anchor to their family. These men take pride in independence, and are more likely to avoid excessive attention from groupies. I want the latter, and when I finally choose, not settle, it'll be a man who compliments my drive and my ethic.


  1. K DeWitty7/22/2010

    I'm still stuck on the 4th paragraph down.
    Maybe I misread, but offering to take a cab to see someone in the middle of the night?
    I'm trying to identify the problem -- why is it that we (women collectively)settle for bullshit?
    I see my Spelman sisters doing it day in and day out, but they are the first ones to profess the strong "image" of a Spelman woman..

  2. We (me included I've done it) believe we have to settle or we won't get anything. I'm waiting but at the same time there's the fear that my expectations are too high and I'll find that I have no options at all.

    Yeah its women at all levels. Men know that we're likely to settle.

  3. lol i just wrote about dis!! -->

  4. girl the ongoing battle. goodness knows I have put up with some mess. I had to learn the ones worth settling for won't make you settle.

    ps. here's a tip: if your list is so long you can't recite what's on it without a piece of paper to guide you your expetations are too high. but wanting a man and not a grown child is not asking too much.


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