Saturday, February 27, 2010

The Commitment of an Artist

I haven't written in a long time, and I think the passion that I feel for my blog as an outlet of expression has waned. I began this blog for a number of reasons: because I love talking about sex, because I feel that women need an open outlet through which they can discuss their sexuality and sexual experience, and because I don't want anyone to mis- or reinterpret me as a something that I am not. Through this blog I have defined myself and it has made me very powerful in that I think I wholly control how I am perceived based on my lyrics.

Through the blog, I have made some really beautiful connections with very driven people around the nation through this thing we call the internet. There are people who are driven, passionate, and immensely talented all around me (people like singer/songwriter David Fuller and the W.A.T.I.A. conglomerate, Caesar Jackson and his clothing line City of Savages, Joe & Terrel creators of the clothing line Vita-Morte, photographer Floyd-From-Ohio to name a handful) who have really inspired me to be fearless. Funny, I just realized that everyone that I listed left college to pursue their passions, and I can imagine that it takes an immense amount of fearlessness and drive to make that move.

I'm the daughter of a musician, so the term starving artist is a life reality for me. I never starved, but there are times when food was appearing on our table like mana from heaven, times when my father was jobless, when we were buying school clothes at thrift stores, when eviction was eminent. In coming to college, I was trying to taylor my talents to fit a corporate existence, but in doing so I was denying my passion, my love, my drive.

As a senior in high school applying to college, most of the administration wanted for me to try Julliard, the New England Conservatory, and other performance schools. I avoided them, because I was afraid of starving. My mother and I had a tacit agreement that I'd go to college and somehow get rich, whether I had to marry a doctor or become one myself.

But my passion is music. I thrive on sound, to alter my mood and to express myself. I'm a writer, but my heart is where the music is, but sadly I haven't performed, outside of the Glee Club, since I was in high school. I need to get back to my roots.

A lump was found in my breast. I haven't had it checked out yet, so it very well may be fatty tissue. But when I was thinking about the possibility of breast cancer I remembered that I only have one life to live with an unknown term. That being said, it is important to be fearless in this life and to take steps in the dark with the faith that our feet will find ground. Find your passion and be unafraid of it.

This post is a commitment thank you to my friends and mentors - those listed and those in my head - who are fearless and driven. I truly look to you for guidance and inspiration.

These are the projects I want to begin to commit to. I will start performing again starting, of course, with Jazz Man's on thursdays. My name is already on the list, I just have to choose a song. I will scope out writing opportunities, hopefully Creative Loafing likes my pitch. I will travel more, without worry about money or security. I also will be working on something very special with my friend DaniRae. I won't drop any information on that except to warn you that its going to be ridiculous.

This is the commitment of an artist, love Alise.

No comments:

Post a Comment

*leave one*